Love Free Essays

In her novel, Love, Toni Morrison reflects on the strength of love and feelings as these feelings help to determine society’s expectations of a person and the social decisions that person makes.   There are different kinds of love in a community.   There is a driving need for love in a person. We will write a custom essay sample on Love or any similar topic only for you Order Now    Morrison uses the story of the life of a man, Bill Cosey, and his surrounding family and community to portray these powerful emotions. The shame Bill Cosey felt for his father and the hurt at never feeling loved by the man is Morrison’s first example of a strong feeling controlling a man’s life.  Ã‚   Bill Cosey’s father was a colored man who chose to spy on his fellow man in order to profit. Well paid, tipped off, and favored for fifty-five years, Daniel Robert Cosey kept his evil gray eye on everybody. †¦. and the money he got for being at the beck and call of white folks in general and police in particular didn’t bring comfort to him or his family. †¦.He worshiped paper money and coin, withheld decent shoes from his son and passable dresses from his wife and daughters, until he died, leaving 114,000 resentful dollars behind.   The son decided to enjoy his share†¦use it on things [his father] cursed: good times, good clothes, good food, good music, dancing til the sun came up in a hotel made for it all.† (Morrison 101) Bill Cosey was the owner of a resort on a beach in the Southern United States.   He was a colored man whom people of his community respected but feared eccentric.   His generosity was welcomed, but his social decisions were tolerated, not accepted by the community he helped create. Cosey understood the distinction between the social status of the people who patronized his resort and those whom he hired to work there or who lived in the surrounding homes. â€Å"Cosey didn’t mix with local people publicly,† Morrison wrote, â€Å"which is to say he employed them, joked with them, even rescued them from difficult situations, but other than at church picnics, none was truly welcome at the hotel’s tables or on its dance floor.† (Morrison 61)  Ã‚  Ã‚   Cosey seemed to feel a need to overcome the shame of his father’s â€Å"blood money† and catered to the people of the community and generously helped them out as he could. However, he understood how his patrons would feel about the social lower class and realized that if he allowed them to be on the same level as the upper class which frequented his resort, then Cosey would lose customers and hence, his resort.   In conclusion, it was his feelings of shame for what his father did to the people of the community, turning his back on them and selling their secrets for cash, that made Bill Cosey who he was: a man who tried to nurture those less fortunate, provide fun for an elite few, and wanted to be seen in the eyes of society as a good, respected man. This driving need to feel respected and loved by the community led Cosey to make many decisions.   Some decisions actually turned community respect away from him, but because the community could only love a man who had helped so many, his actions that should have been shunned were not.   For example, when he married Heed, an eleven-year-old girl, who was the playmate of his granddaughter, people in the community and his family were shocked, but ignored the action because he was Bill Cosey. People actually went so far as to put the blame for such an unacceptable act on the poor child herself. As one character remembers they â€Å"acted as though Heed had chased and seduced a fifty-two-year-old man, older than her father.   That she had chosen to marry him, rather than having been told to.† (Morrison 226) Even this decision to marry an eleven-year-old was based on feeling.   Bill Cosey was haunted by a childhood memory where he helped his father capture a thief for police.   Yet, when the thief was punished, being dragged through town by horses, Cosey was devastated to see a little girl running behind calling her father. This girl tripped and fell and no one in the community did anything to help her, not even Bill Cosey who felt ashamed for the rest of his life.   Nevertheless, his attempts to make himself feel better about this past incident, actually destroyed the love of friendship between his granddaughter and his new, young wife. The two little girls who shunned the community’s social ideals to build a much yearned for friendship were controlled by their inner need for love and acceptance.   The girls, Christine, the granddaughter, and Heed, the playmate, fought to create a friendship in their youth.   Heed was from the seedier, poorer end of town and Christine the granddaughter of a wealthy,   respected and community-conscious man.   According to society’s rules, they should not be friends. Christine’s mother tried to stop the friendship, but Christine recalled how much she had needed a real friend and how hard she would struggle to be allowed to have one.   â€Å"She would never forget how she had fought for her, defied her mother to protect her, to give her clothes†¦to picnic alone on the beach.   They shared stomachache laughter, a secret language, and knew as they slept together that one’s dreaming was the same as the other one’s.† (Morrison 204) Unfortunately, when Cosey married Heed, Christine felt betrayed because she did not understand.   Christine was not told what had happened, and Heed did not understand either.   Both were innocent girls who were made to do as they were told in order for the grown-ups in their lives to feel better about what they did or had done even at the expense of an innocent friendship.   As Morrison puts it, â€Å"After the wedding, they tried to play together occasionally, but with each one lying in wait for the other’s insult, the efforts ended in quarrel.† (Morrison 205) Christine’s mother taught Christine to hate the traitorous playmate because of the feelings she had about a little girl â€Å"stealing† her father-in-law from her and her only daughter.   All this led to the destruction of the girls’ friendship.   Sadly, this friendship and the love and trust it had once held, was the one thing that could have given both girls the pleasant, love-filled life for which they both yearned .   If they had sought to be accepted and loved by each other instead of by the adults that essentially ruined their hearts, they would have succeeded in obtaining the love we all need to feel complete inside. Unfortunately, this did not become apparent to the two girls until they were old, bitter women, and one was struggling to hold on to life.  Ã‚   After hating each other for years and fighting to reap the material possessions of Bill Cosey, Christine and Heed are facing death and finally take the opportunity to reveal their feelings to each other.  Ã‚   â€Å"We could have been living our lives hand in hand instead of looking for Big Daddy everywhere.   He was everywhere. And nowhere.† (Morrison 291)   With these last statements to each other, the girls have suddenly realized that they could have had a more emotionally fulfilled life as friends than they did as daughters, granddaughter, girlfriend, or wife.   In essence, their search for the love and acceptance from a father, a mother or mother figure and lover led to the ignorance of the love they shared as friends. There are many kinds of love in a family and a community.   There was the love the community’s people felt for Bill Cosey and the pride he brought to their race with his successes.   There is the love of a father and the love of a mother, both sought after and both allowing a child to grow up with self-confidence and a feeling of importance.   Then there is the love of a lover: the love between husband and wife.   This is the passionate love, but the love that ought to make a person whole as two people who love each other become partners in life and find in each other someone who truly understands.   Also, there is the love between siblings.   And there is the love between friends. Each love in its own way and for its own reasons is strong.   The need for the heart to feel each love and love in return is strong.   But the strength of each is only as strong as the lover makes it.   The need can only take over as much as a person allows it.   This may be what Morrison is trying to focus on in her book. Through Bill Cosey and his actions, we observe the need to be accepted by society.  Ã‚   He is ashamed of his father because in a sense his father turned against his own people for money, but then refused to share it with his family.   Thus, Bill Cosey feels unloved by his father as well as hated by his community for what his father was.   Cosey spent the rest of his life trying to earn that love and respect from both family and community.   The reader can deduce this from what Cosey asks a confidant, â€Å"What do they say about me?†¦..You know. Behind my back.† (Morrison 63)   When the answer was that he is a respected man, Cosey simply replied,† Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.† (Morrison 63) Even as Cosey sought vengeance for an unloving father, May, his daughter-in-law, Christine, and Heed all sought the love of a father from him.  Ã‚   A love that he intended to give, but never really did give because he was too concerned with his feelings and what the community thought of him.   This realization leads to the friendship love that could have been the strongest had Christine and Heed let go of the search for a man’s love and chosen instead to strengthen their friendship. The love of a husband and wife is ironically not seen between the young playmate and the elder husband, but between an elderly couple, Vida and Sandler, who have learned to live with each other’s idiosyncrasies and accept each other for who they are.   Morrison shows this when the couple is together just by what they say and don’t say to each other in order to respect an argument or to stop one from occurring.   Also, Morrison shows it in how they honor small requests in order to please each other.   Such as, when Vida requests that Sandler speak to their grandson about sex, he does not think he should, but then he does for Vida’s peace of mind. (Morrison 224-225) All in all, Morrison covers a wide and powerful topic, the importance of love and feelings.   She focuses on how important it is for each of us to feel loved and to feel important to someone else in this world, whether it be a community or an individual.   Morrison expands on that need for love to show how a person or even a community can let it control them.   But it is controllable and can be realized if one accepts the love they are given instead of searching for the love they will never get. Works Cited Morrison, Toni. Love. New York, NY, USA: Random House,2003. How to cite Love, Essay examples Love Free Essays 1. Tina attributes her poor performance on the quiz to her teacher’s inability to teach the material. However, she believes that other students who did not do well on the quiz failed because they did not study hard enough. We will write a custom essay sample on Love or any similar topic only for you Order Now Tina’s reasoning illustrates: a. the actor/observer discrepancy. b. the fundamental attribution error. c. self-fulfilling prophecy. d. ingroup favoritism. 2. Adriana was assigned to do a class project with Jim. Jim rarely spoke in class, and Adriana didn’t expect him to contribute much, so she took over and assigned herself most of the tasks including the role of presenting their project. As a consequence, Jim thought that Adriana did not want to work with him. Therefore, Jim remained quiet even though in other classes he is talkative and does his part in group work. This scenario is an example of: a. a self-fulfilling prophecy. b. an actor/observer discrepancy. c. prejudice. d. ingroup favoritism. 3. Waylon doesn’t like clowns, but he doesn’t change his behavior around them. In contrast, Mike’s negative attitude toward clowns compels him to throw popcorn at them at the circus. Waylon exhibits __________ while Mike exhibits __________. a. prejudice; discrimination b. discrimination; prejudice . subtyping; prejudice d. subtyping; discrimination 4. Karen’s roommate hung one of her paintings from art class in their dorm room. Initially, Karen hated the painting and thought it was hideous. But by the end of the year, Karen had grown to like the painting and even wanted to take it home with her. The best explanation for Karen’s change in attitude is: a. the mere exposure effect. b. the elaboration likelihood model. c. attitude accessibility. d. persuasion. 5. Lisa used to dislike people who drank alcohol. However, she recently started to date Mike who sometimes likes to drink a few beers after work. Instead of breaking up with Mike, she tells herself that drinking isn’t bad after all. Lisa’s change in attitude illustrates: a. cognitive dissonance. b. actor-observer discrepancy. c. the elaboration likelihood model. d. attitude accessibility. 6. Six-year-old Wendy sees a cereal box with her favorite cartoon character on the front and immediately wants to buy the cereal. Her mother Terri picks up the box, looks at the nutrition label, and decides the cereal is worth purchasing. Wendy was convinced to purchase the cereal by the __________ route, whereas Terri was convinced by the __________ route. a. peripheral; central . central; peripheral c. cognitive; elaborative d. elaborative; cognitive 7. Lindsay won her first leading role in a Broadway musical. She rehearsed her songs and lines numerous times alone in front of a mirror, and her performance in front of the mirror was mediocre. However, on opening night her performance was so sensational that she got a standing o vation. The difference in her performance can be best explained by social: a. facilitation. b. loafing. c. norms. d. impairment. 8. Payton and his friends all go to his school’s basketball game wearing matching team shirts, and they sit together in a group. When his friends start cursing at supporters from the other college, Payton starts cursing too because he feels like he is part of a group, even though normally Payton is very conscientious and seldom yells at anyone. Payton’s yelling is an example of: a. deindividuation. b. social loafing. c. groupthink. d. obedience. 9. On the first day of class, Seung-Ming was the first student to arrive. The classroom was empty, but because the light was off, he decided to wait outside the classroom. When his classmates arrived, they also waited outside the class until the instructor came. The behavior of Seung-Ming’s classmates is an example of: a. conformity. b. cooperation. c. compliance. d. obedience. 10. Jerry is waiting in line for his pizza slice when a stranger cuts in line. Ordinarily Jerry wouldn’t mind, but he was having a bad day today so he gets very angry and punches the stranger on the chin. Jerry’s actions can be explained by: a. the frustration-aggression hypothesis. b. the bystander intervention effect. c. the elaboration likelihood model. d. Kluver-Bucy syndrome. 11. George is walking down the street when he sees someone lying motionless on the ground. George is most likely to help that person if he is walking: a. alone, and the person asks him for help. b. alone, and he hears the person groaning. c. with a stranger, and the person asks him for help. d. with a stranger, and he hears the person groaning. 12. Micah comes home to find his house on fire. According to kin selection, Micah is more likely to go into the house and try to rescue the people inside if those people are: a. his children. b. his stepchildren. c. his friends. d. his mother-in-law and father-in-law. 13. Justin joined an online dating service that allows him to meet and date other people. Justin is most likely to date someone who is __________ attractive and has __________ interests. a. equally; similar b. equally; different c. more; similar d. more; different 14. Doug and Danni have been a couple for several years. They are very devoted to helping and taking care of each other. Marcy and Martin have only been dating for a month but feel a very strong desire to be together. Doug and Danni are experiencing __________ love, while Marcy and Martin are experiencing __________ love. a. compassionate; passionate b. passionate; compassionate c. accommodating; compassionate d. assionate; accommodating 15. Sheldon and Sandy are in marriage counseling. When Sandy complains that Sheldon doesn’t help with housework, their therapist asks her if his behavior could be explained by the situation, such as being busy taking care of their children. Their therapist is trying to teach the couple: a. a different attribution style. b. passionate love. c. compassionate love. d. the ma tching principle. 16. Which of the following statements is the best example of the fundamental attribution error? a. â€Å"People live in ghettos because they lack the motivation to make anything of themselves. b. â€Å"She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. † c. â€Å"Prison guards are not mean people; they are just victims of a very difficult situation. † d. â€Å"There, but for the grace of God, go I. † 17. People make just world attributions mainly to: a. increase their senses of self-esteem b. make them feel safer c. let them avoid their own errors d. ease their consciences 18. In explaining her failure to be admitted to the graduate school of her choice and the failure of a classmate to get into graduate school, Cynthia uses the actor/observer discrepancy. Her reasoning involves which of the following sets of attributions? a. â€Å"I didn’t get in because I’m not motivated to do well; my classmate isn’t adequately motivated either. † b. â€Å"I didn’t get in because I was so swamped with coursework that I didn’t have enough time to prepare my application packet; my classmate didn’t get in because she’s not motivated to do well. † c. â€Å"I didn’t get in because I’m not motivated to do well; my classmate didn’t get in because she didn’t have enough time to prepare her admissions packet. † d. I didn’t get in because I didn’t have enough time to prepare; my classmate didn’t have enough time to prepare either. † 19. Dr. Norton had heard from other teachers that five of his algebra students might require extra help. As a consequence, he tended to hover around these students, checked their answers more than he checked other students’ answers, seemed to doubt their ability to understand the material, and often stopped them in the middle of their problem solving to tell them that they were working the problem incorrectly. All five students failed the class. Which of the following factors would, in part, explain their failure? a. positive attributional bias b. self-serving bias c. self-fulfilling prophecy d. group stereotype 20. In working on the campaign of the student body president, Tom wants to present his candidate in the best light to specific audiences. He has divided his audiences into two categories: those who are paying attention to the issues (the concerned or skeptical) and those who are not really concerned with the relevant issues (the unconcerned or gullible). If he were to structure speeches for each of these groups, which types of messages might be most appealing? . concerned: two-sided argument; unconcerned: two-sided argument b. concerned: two-sided argument; unconcerned: one-sided argument c. concerned: one-sided argument; unconcerned: two-sided argument d. It is impossible to predict without knowing the cultural and religious backgrounds of the audience. 21. Terriers were bred to chase small animals and in the proces s to dig holes. Susan adopted a terrier, but it played happily in her backyard without digging holes. To give that dog company, Susan adopted a second terrier. Within a week, both dogs were digging holes throughout the yard. The dogs’ behavior exemplifies: a. social loafing b. deindividuation c. social facilitation d. the autokinetic effect 22. After Hurricane Katrina, people committed many acts of valor and bravery and many acts of looting and theft. According to the concept of deindividuation, all of the following factors probably contributed to the criminal acts EXCEPT: a. arousal b. anonymity c. confusion d. diffusion of responsibility 23. Human beings typically engage in prosocial, altruistic behavior. Why, according to your book, do we engage in these behaviors? . to manage our public image b. to relieve our negative mood c. to help individuals in our gene pool d. all of the above 24. As discussed in your textbook, a psychology study conducted in the 1970s compared men raised in the northern part of the United States to men raised in the South. When a confederate in the study was verbally aggressive, southern men responded by: a. exhibiting increases in cortisol and testosterone b. acting vi olently toward the confederate c. refusing to participate in the study d. challenging the confederate’s bad behavior 25. Before she got married, Su-lin sought the advice of her grandmother, who had been happily married for over 50 years to a man who, Su-lin knew, could be difficult at times. Which of the following pieces of advice, according to your textbook, would Su-lin have received from her grandmother that might explain her years of happy marriage? a. â€Å"Live your own life, find your own interests, and ignore him as much as possible. † b. â€Å"I always try to find the good things about him, and believe me, they’re there. † c. â€Å"You have to remember that he’s a man and consequently has many weaknesses. † d. â€Å"If you let him make the How to cite Love, Papers Love Free Essays â€Å"Traditional† families—father, mother, and children under 18—comprise only 27 percent of U.S. households. We will write a custom essay sample on Love or any similar topic only for you Order Now Who are the other 73 percent? They include other couples with an empty nest, grandparents caring for grandchildren, single parents and their children, the widowed, singles, cohabiting men and women, and childless or voluntarily child-free married people. To judge from the North American divorce rate—roughly 40 percent of Canadian marriages and half of U.S. marriages end in divorce—marriage has become a union that often defies management. In Europe, too, divorce is nearly as common, after increasing 400 percent between 1960 and 1985. In fact, among Americans married in the early 1970s, only a third in 1986 was still married and proclaiming their marriages very happy. Newlyweds beware:   Don’t take a successful marriage for granted, because the odds are you will not live happily ever after. Still, there is brighter news about marriage. More than 9 in 10 adults marry. Of those who divorce, 75 percent remarry—and their second marriages are virtually as happy as the average first marriage and fewer than 25 percent of unmarried adults, but nearly 40 percent of married adults, report being â€Å"very happy† with life. Often, love bears children. The most enduring of life changes, having a child, is for most people a happy event. As children begin to absorb time, money, and emotional energy, however, satisfaction with the marriage itself often declines. This is especially so among those employed women who bear the traditional burden of increased chores at home. Although U.S. husbands, on average, do one-third of household tasks. For most women, work is never done. Another significant event in family life happens when children leave home. If you have left home, consider your parents’ experience: Did they suffer an â€Å"empty nest syndrome†Ã¢â‚¬â€was either of them distressed by a loss of purpose and relationship? Or did your parents discover renewed freedom, relaxation, and satisfaction with their own relationship? II. Discussion Every individual desires to have his/her own partner in life; thus, desires to be loved and to loved. This is the reason why young people and older ones indulge in courtship to seek love and find a potential partner for marriage. This motivates everyone to watch romantic movies and read novels that show two people who are head over heels in love with each other. Most movies like â€Å"Cinderella, A Walk to Remember, A Knight’s Tale and many others† portray love, courtship and marriage with exaggeration. These movies show a fairytale scenario that they live happily ever and after and other movies show tragedy like â€Å"Ghost, City of Angels, Titanic and many others† but in real life it is the other way around. Yes, having a perfect love is not a bed of roses. It always has thorns that make the love sweet. It is so natural to for two people to be in love but the question is—is the person an individual feels in love with is the person meant for him/her? Loving someone is a choice and not by feelings. When an individual plans to court, it must be motivated by love and commitment but not by feelings alone. Feelings fluctuate and deceive individual’s emotion. If love is based on feelings alone and not by commitment, there is a tendency that we fall out of love with our partners if we discover their flaws and weaknesses. That is why divorce is very rampant nowadays and I can attest to that because I am from a broken family. My parents got divorced and decided to marry other individuals. It is the hardest thing ever happen to our family. Because of the wrong decision made by my parents when they were still young, they reap the consequence and separate ways. I am the one who suffered most because I desired to have a complete and happy family but it seems that it would only be a dream. At present, many young individuals are too quick to decide in getting married. Marriage is a scared matter that is blessed by God. Young people must not be in a rush in getting married and they must think it millions times before they will settle down because it is not them who will suffer most but their children. A. Love Inevitably, the passion of romantic love subsides. The intense absorption in the other, the thrill of the romance, the giddy â€Å"floating on a cloud† feelings fade. JUST MARRIED becomes just married, the magic lost. So are the French correct in saying that â€Å"love makes the time pass and time makes love pass†? There may be adaptive wisdom to this change from passion to affection. Passionate love often brings children, whose survival is aided by the parents’ waning obsession with one another. If the inevitable odds against eternal passionate love in a relationship were better understood, more people might choose to be satisfied with the quieter feelings of satisfaction and contentment.   One key to a gratifying and enduring relationship is equity: Both partners receive in proportion to what they give. When equity exists—when both partners freely give and receive, when they share decision, making—their chances for sustained and satisfying companionate love are good. Mutually sharing and possessions, giving and getting emotional support, promoting and caring about one another’s welfare, are at the core of every type of loving relationship, whether between lovers, parent and child, or intimate friends. B. Brief Description of a Current Love Relationship The romantic relationship that I have now with my partner is such a great feeling and a fulfillment to both of us. This relationship of ours is full of love and also practices the give and take relationship. We see to it that there is always balance within us; thus, both of us make sure that we satisfy each other with genuine love and faithfulness. We know each others flaws but accept them whole heartedly because that is part of the package deal as we started loving each other. Our love is based on our decision and commitment and not by feelings alone. III. Conclusion Passionate love can be viewed as a temporary, aroused sate that we cognitively labels as love. The strong affection of companionate love, which often emerges as a relationship matures, is enhanced by an equitable relationship and by intimate self-disclosure. True love sustains the marriage. No matter how life difficult is, the two people who are committed and bind with love can survive the storms of their relationship. Young individuals must not rush in making decisions in getting married but must think million times. How to cite Love, Essay examples LOVE Free Essays Makes Perfect In the essay † Expertise Dissected,† Daniel J. Levities believes that barely anyone can become an expert in their area without continuous practice. Moreover, he mentions that although talent is a major factor that people acquire skills more rapidly than others, with only talent, one cannot achieve success in that area. We will write a custom essay sample on LOVE or any similar topic only for you Order Now Finally, Levities emphasizes that practice is the most essential factor leading to a significant achievement. From my point of view, I totally agree with Levities’ opinions. Based on y life experience and the book I read, I think his points are totally correct. All in all, practice is the most important foundation for success. People need to practice if they want to achieve the dream they have wished. Taking Vivian, who took same COCCIDS class with me, as an example, she is a student majoring in philosophy. And she is extremely smart and always has many unique thoughts. However, we shared the same situation where we both failed COCCIDS for five times. Last quarter, I noticed that there was a change happening in her. From my observation, she started to ask he professor for extra prompts every time after each class. Before, she was always hanging out with her friends and paid little attention to this writing class. Now, she realized that she could not afford another failure in COCCIDS , otherwise she would be kicked out from SCUDS. So she decided to practice more, which actually led to a reward. At the end of that quarter, she finally passed the exit exam. However, I failed again since I did not study hard enough. The contradiction from Vivian and me shows that Levity’s points are totally correct that people can not get a significant achievement without practice. Levities mentions that even one is equipped with brilliant talent, he also has to practice since † practice makes perfect,† which I think is totally right. Michael Jordan, the best basketball player ever, won NAB championships for six times. He is a world-class basketball star, who promotes NAB and basketball to every corner of all over the world. When he was a high school student, his amazing basketball talent started to blossom. Even though he had brilliant talent, he still trained more than ten hours a day. The fact that the Chicago Bulls selected him did not stop him from practicing. He is always the one who first arrived in gym and the last one left the gym. After day and day training, he was able to help the team win championship for six times and win himself the most valued player for five times. Just as authors mentioned, talent is a gift from God, however practice makes this gift being discovered more deeply. There are many evidence showing that people are easily to fail if they stop practice, no matter how talented they are. For example, doodads, with the developing of the entertainments, more and more fantastic game was welcomed by adults. The defend of Ancients, one of popular games, becomes the best game, and it already had more than ten millions players all over the world. Dad, one of top players in China, is good at playing this game. At first, he helped the team win the champion of the Electronic Sports World Cup. With his past teammates still fighting for their game life, he had to retire since he was so complacent that he ignored the importance of practice. Also, there were lots of negative reports about his fife after that winning and according to these reports, he smoked weed and drank almost everyday. From this example, we could easily tell that talent only plays an important role in the very beginning of ones success, and what led to ones ultimate achievement is practice. Both Levities and I believe in the importance of practice. We also hold the same idea that it is more essential than talent in the long run. A man born with talents only means he is lucky and can acquire a specific skill more quickly than others. However, practice is what really makes him achieve further success in his field. How to cite LOVE, Papers